The Cougar Edit Archive
Catch Up on Old News
Every story we’ve ever published, for members who were at barre when it happened.
Gala
Gala Recap: We Will Announce a Grand Total as Soon as the Grammas Finish Writing Checks
The second playground is funded, probably. The pickleball clinic went for a number both families asked us not to print.
Gala
Cougars on the Prowl Gala: A Sneak Peek at Sunday’s Live Auction Catalog
Bidding opens at Le Gym at 7. Platinum Cougars may pre-bid. Everyone else may watch.
Halloween
Halloween Parade Recap: The Oat Theme Was a Total Success for About Four Minutes
The children were planning something. We would like to know who helped.
Halloween
Halloween Candy Pre-Sorting Station Needs 30 Volunteers, Fresh Swatches and an Explanation for the Children
Clashing wrappers will be rehomed. Rehomed candy will be handled responsibly by the committee.
Gala
Gala Recap: We Will Announce a Grand Total as Soon as the Grammas Finish Writing Checks
Gala
Cougars on the Prowl Gala: A Sneak Peek at Sunday’s Live Auction Catalog
Halloween
Halloween Parade Recap: The Oat Theme Was a Total Success for About Four Minutes
Halloween
Halloween Candy Pre-Sorting Station Needs 30 Volunteers, Fresh Swatches and an Explanation for the Children
Events
The Cougar Crawl Is Friday, and We Have a Few Gentle Rules for Our Patios-Only Wine Walk
Halloween
Official Halloween Parade Guidelines: Children May Be Any Character They Want, as Long as That Character Is in Oat
Dads
Cub Scouting Combine Results: Chad Sets a Personal Record and Has Asked That It Be Read Into the Minutes
Fall Festival
Official Minutes of Fall Festival Planning Meeting #11, Held Remotely From Several Beaches
Wellness
Margaux Shares Her Unstructured Fall Break Play Schedule (Color-Coded, 6:00 a.m. to 8:15 p.m.)
Teacher Appreciation
Teachers Are on Fall Break, So We’ve Kept It to Just 47 Quick Questions
Fall Festival
Mr. Segewick Delivers 300 Free Pumpkins; We Have Respectfully Declined All 300 for Being Orange
Fall Break
Fall Break Is Here! A Reminder That the Sisterhood Does Not Take Breaks, Only Trips
Fall Festival
City-Wide Pumpkin Shortage Update, Plus Every Fall Happening and All 15 of Our Pumpkin Projects
Administration
Capstone Administration Releases Heartfelt Statement Praising Cappa Cappa, Reads It Exactly As Blakely Wrote It
Weather
Cappa Cappa Launches ‘Snow Is a Mindset’ Campaign to Help Superintendent Understand the Importance of 9:15 Hot Yoga
Academics
Test Scores Come Back Identical to District Average; We Have Commissioned an $80,000 Study Into Why Money Didn’t Work
Campus Life
Carpool Goes Full-Service Valet After Kinsley Survives 90 Agonizing Seconds Behind a Honda
Teacher Appreciation
Record $40,000 Teacher Appreciation Week a Huge Success; Every Teacher Received a $5 Starbucks Card
Fall Festival
Fall Festival Pumpkins Sourced Exclusively From Small-Batch Napa Patch
Elections
Democracy Thrives as Room Mom Race for Mrs. Hollis’s 2nd Grade Heads to Fourth Runoff
Fundraising
Cougar Chase Raises Record $61,000; Committee Credits Bold Decision to Have New 26-Year-Old PE Teacher Run Shirtless
Dads
Dad Spotlight: Chad Whitmore-Vance Would Like You to Know He Does CrossFit
Campus Life
Sisterhood Votes 58–0 to Keep Carpool Valet Staff ‘Exactly As Is,’ Including the Vests
Community
We Invited a Zoned-District Mom to Brunch, She Brought Store-Bought Muffins, and We Forgave Her
Legacy Chapter
Meet the Cappa Cappa Grammas, Who Fund Everything and Ask Only for Total Control
Nothing matches. Which honestly means it didn’t happen.