MOUNTAIN BROOK, AL — Sisters, we have the best news. After some unkind and frankly inaccurate whispers that Cappa Cappa has been “a lot” for our teachers, the Capstone Elementary administration released a heartfelt prepared statement Wednesday. It confirms what we have always known: we are “an absolute joy,” and the faculty “literally could not do our jobs without” us.
Dr. Jane Cathy read it aloud in the library from the podium we brought in. She was so moved she never once looked up from the page. We’re sharing it in full, because it’s that good:
“The administration and faculty of Capstone Elementary wish to express our deepest gratitude to Cappa Cappa Capstone, without whom we literally could not do our jobs. Their daily presence in our classrooms, hallways, faculty lounge, and parking spaces is a gift. We especially appreciate their detailed feedback on lesson plans, bulletin boards, field trip destinations, and our personal appearance. Reports that teachers have ‘felt pressure’ are completely untrue, and every teacher who said so has since clarified that they were tired. Love you, mean it. #CapstoneStrong 💕”
Dr. Cathy was too emotional to take questions. She said she had “a lot of grading” and needed to “go sit in my car for a minute,” which we respect. Self-care matters, so we’ve added a standing car-sitting block to her calendar.
PTO President Blakely Whitmore-Vance said she was “so touched.” “That’s just the relationship we have with our faculty,” she said. “We’re a team. We help with everything. Lesson plans, classroom décor, parent communication, seating charts. I even wrote the prepared statement for them this morning. They were so busy, bless them.”
The statement needed only minimal revisions. Dr. Cathy asked to take out “Love you, mean it,” and Blakely gently reminded her, “Jane. Babe. It’s your voice.” After a short pause, Dr. Cathy agreed. That’s what collaboration looks like.
We also checked in with our teachers, who were all in the supply closet for what we assume was a planning meeting. Every one of them agreed we are “very involved.” One second-grade teacher was so grateful she could barely speak. Last week we refreshed her classroom into a more intentional flow, upgraded her name plate to monogrammed acrylic, and left her a sweet note about her cardigans. “They’re very supportive,” she said, and then she asked if we were still out there. We were! 💕
The Cappa Cappa Grammas want everyone to know this is nothing new. The 1994 PTO wrote the principal’s statements too, “and also hired the principal.” Traditions matter.
UPDATE: The administration has released a second statement confirming the first statement was “100 percent written by us.” We think it’s even better than the first one. Blakely is especially proud of the font.